|Charles Maxwell was a second-year computer science engineering student at the University of Michigan until a mischievous penguin caused him to be stranded at Canadian customs. Being stranded with Steve and Vash, he has been forced to assume the role of "voice of reason" to an even greater extent than his adventures usually require, although his recent employment at Tim Hortons and subsequent hatred of all customers have given him the opportunity to accept with a degree of pragmatism Steve's chaotic presence.|
|Steve Lancomb is the focus of a veritable whirlwind of chaos and confusion that tends to surround him even without his active participation - or so it is thought, as he's never been seen doing anything other than encouraging it. Steve is a biochemistry/pre-med student, and his studies in the intricate, chaotic, and ultimately uncertain nature of chemical reactions have led him to the conclusion that all life - and all existence - is chaos, and that to deny it would be futile. And no fun.
|"Vash" is the assumed name of a girl from somewhere nearby, who met Steve and Charles at an anime convention. Due in part to the circumstances of their meeting, Steve and Charles never learned Vash's true name, and she assumed the name of her cosplay character to use with them. Soon after accepting an offer for a ride home from the pair, she was stranded with them in Canada, and began to learn that Steve and Charles inhabited a reality not entirely consistent with her previously "normal" one. Intrigued, she has decided to try to learn more...
The Man in the Bowler Hat
|The man in the bowler hat is ultimately the person on the receiving end of most of Charles and Steve's ill-conceived plans. He is not happy about this.
|Ed is a friend of Charles and Steve, and one of their main contacts in Toronto. He lived a relatively normal life - the familiar bizarreness of an anime convention was as stretched as his reality ever got, before Charles and Steve needed to crash at his apartment after getting trapped in Canada. Somehow, his ended up putting his engineering knowledge to use in Steve and Charles' (mostly Steve's) ill-conceived plans.
|Zach met Steve during one of Steve's surprisingly few visits to jail. Zach is a regular in the Toronto jail - he describes his cycle of breaking out and getting caught as a "game", and he's been pressing the jail to institute a "Frequent Inmate" program so he can earn some free stuff. Since his last breakout, Zach has been staying with Ed and his roommates, and he seems a fitting addition to the group.
|They aren't real Mounties. Nobody really cares. A couple of prison guards dispatched to stop Steve from escaping the jail, and more importantly falling out of surveillance, they are the classic blend of incompetence and naivete that we've come to expect from people wearing uniforms they don't belong in. It's a wonder they stay on their horses.
|When Charles first applied for a job at Tim Hortons, he saw in the manager a bored, tired person who doesn't care about anything. Now he had learned differently - the manager is a bored, tired, rather insane person who cares about very little, and actively despises customers to a nearly transcendental level. There are a few things he cares about, though - the proper construction of a perfect donut, the combination of slightly lidded eyes and a barely perceivable frown to create the ultimate expression of contempt, the smooth functionality of a Tim Hortons that no number of whiny "customers" with their irritating "orders" can disrupt.
|The Jedi is the nemesis of Charles' Sith alterego. Even outside of their Star Wars costumes, they inevitably end up dueling whenever they meet - though the rivalry is a friendly one.
|Laria Bulgakova was Charles' girlfriend during freshman year of college. She hasn't been seen much since.
|Angela was Laria's best friend, until she transferred to another college rather suddenly. Steve denies involvement.